The need to complete things fast
I always feel urgent to complete things: I want to learn how to implement sockets from scratch, build some cool apps, learn system design, read this book on compilers, so and so. There were just so many things to learn, and I felt like everything must be done in the shortest amount of time so I can move on quickly to the next. GitHub became the place where I express myself. I like see apps running, and I feel much more proud of myself if people see how I make those apps run.
There was a time when I schedule my days like this: In the morning I would go through some pages on system design, during lunch break I will tackle some coding challenges, and in the evening I would build things from scratch. I thought it would be cool and super productive and educational, but it was also the fastest way to feel burn out: I thought I was learning so much and I felt like I can take on any coding work, but after a while I just got exhausted (also felt like a performative programmer - maybe that’s true).
The knowledge was fleeting. Yesterday I learnt some cool database optimization techniques and solve an easy coding challenge, today I completely forget about both of them. I believe it was because I was constantly context switching, and my brain was overwhelmed with concepts from all the domains. I think I wasted like half a year doing so? It’s not like I did not learn anything at all, but it’s just that everything was so shallow and I can barely apply the knowledge to anything.
I’m learning to take things slow now. I still feel the urge to complete things fast, but I realized that it would probably take forever to truly complete all the side projects and books, so why the rush? Most of my learning is during the day work now, where I not just learn how to program but to deal with people. I still spend like 1-2 hours a day going through system design books and coding small tools to feel like I’m not falling behind. Also now that I’m studying for my 2nd bachelor degree in computer science, there will be a lot more things to be done, so I won’t have the urge to complete things fast :)
